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Okay, so I'm not exactly a fashion diva. I know, I know, you're laughing as you think, Duh, we already know that. The problem is, I guess I didn't know it. But my daughter, well, now, that's another story. She's the queen of fashion and she's only four. I mean when we went to Florida, she had to have a bikini. But when she put it on, she was devastated because it looked like she was wearing a bra. Now she can't wait to wear a bra, she was just really upset because she didn't have anything to put in the bra. So put a golf ball in each side. I proceeded to take the golf balls out, and then I told her she wasn't supposed to have anything to put in their yet, but that she still had to keep her girls covered because we're ladies. To which she giggled and ran around telling everyone it's okay that she doesn't have boobies like mommy, she still gets to swim in a bra.
She loves to pick out her own clothes and she always, always matches. Perfectly, in fact. So yesterday I'm wearing a sweatsuit, feeling like Manic did the time she wore all black. Only my daughter starts shaking her head and sighing.
Me: What's the matter?
Her: You're not really going to wear that, are you?
Me: Um, yeah. Why?
Her: Um, well. Because.
Me. Frown. (I can't believe I'm taking a 4-year-old's fashion advice seriously, but if you knew her, you'd get it. So I try again.) Because why?
Her: Well, because you look like a burnt hot dog.
Me: Really, now. Because that was just what I was going for.
Her: Why? (hey, she might be a fashion diva, but she's still four. Sarcasm is beyond her)
Me: (Sigh.) Never mind that. What do you think I should wear?
(She takes my hand and leads me upstairs to my room and leaves me standing in front of my mirror. I study my reflection while she's dissappeared into my closet. My black sweats and solid black pullover hang on me, hiding all curves. Oprah's right. Baggy clothes really do make you look 10 pounds heavier, and darnit, my duaghter's right. I really do look like a burnt hot dog. So she finally emerges with a pink T-shirt and zip up black hoodie. I put those form fitting shirts on and it looks sooooo much better.)
Her: There, now you look pretty.
Me: Thanks to you. (I kneel before her and hike up her pants.)
Her: (She gasps.) What are you trying to do, make me look like you?
Me: What do you mean?
Her: (She rolls her eyes) I don't pull my pants all the way up to my girls, mommy, and you shouldn't either.
Me: (gasp) I do not.
Her: Well, Aunt Sally does. (then she runs away, the conversation already forgotten)
(sorry Aunt Sally, I have no idea what she's talking about.) But when I stood up, my sweats (which I already said were quite baggy) were hiked up practically to my girls. Darnit!!! So I rolled them down like my 17 year old neice does and just came to accept the fact that....
I am just not a fashion diva.
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24 comments:
my 8 year old is brutally honest...
dad your breath smells
that shirt is ugly
can you change we are going out.
Too funny, March. Aren't kids cute. NOT!!
By the way it was my turn to post on the Fly Girls if anyone wants to check it out.
Burnt hot dog, huh?
Hmmmm...I'm gonna have to agree with her...
Maybe not the best look. ;)
Steve~
Yeah, it really wasn't a good look. The little buggar is always right. That doesn't bode well for my future.
Just you wait...
*HOOT!!* That is HILARIOUS...!!
What a funny story, thanks for sharing.
So...are you sure it is that the pants are approaching the girls ...or are the girls approaching the pants...??
LOL!!
Do I have a man for her. My five year old Tanner. Put tham together and I'm sure they'd raise hell.
I'll dress you in NEC. Make you look HOT!
OMG Nomad that was so funny. Especially because it very well could be the girls approaching the pants!!!!
Although I'm not a Double D like Barbie Jo.
And Cakes, make me look hot, pleaaaaassseee!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, Danielle, was it the five year old or the two year old who is prison bound?????? Hmmm, sounds like a perfect match for my drama queen!!!!
OMG!!! I'm cracking up!! Too freaking funny. And Nomad's comment made my eyes water. ha ha ha ha !!!
Of course, I love it when my 7 yr old daughter tells me I look like a teen ager!! (I wish!)
make me look HOT Cakes, too!!!! I'll sleep with you if you do.
>>Her: (She rolls her eyes) I don't pull my pants all the way up to my girls, mommy, and you shouldn't either.
Oh man that was hysterical. Must make use of that at least once next week...
Glenn
Yeah, she's a regular riot, I tell ya. But she has made me double check my appearance before I leave the house now;)))
OK - now stop and imagine life with 4 (F.O.U.R.) Diva's trying to tell you how to dress. And the sad part is that they are generally right.
UGH!
But I love it when they do the Are you wearing that? to Mr. Farmer - makes me giggle.
:O)
My husband wears his pants up to his girls (if he had any), I yank them down..oh well at least he doesn't wera white socks with dress shoes or black socks to his knees with sandals or tennis shoes..
At least you guys don't have a DH who tries to get amorous with his socks still on...Ahem.
Oh, Frannie, I feal your pain. one diva is more than enough. Can't imagine 4.
And TTQ, oh my.
And Nicki, I can't say anything about that since I leave my socks on for pretty much everything. I hate cold feet.
CRACKING, CRACKING, CRACKING UP!!!
And why are you feeling blah and wearing all black--you are a skinny little thing having just lost a bunch - 0 - weight!!
Your daughter is hilarious! So are you too!
So glad I don't have daughters LOL
Where Oh Where are you tonight... why did you leave me hear all alone........blah blah blah...
or should we be counting appletinis???
Oh, my gosh, she sounds like a piece of work!! How FUNNY!
My younger sister was a tomboy. She was an auto mechanic for a time, and was widely known for her ability to fix things. She also owned two ugly dresses. Everything else was either jeans or pants.
Her daughter? Total girly girl. Funny how that happens.
That was hilarious! You have to put it in a book. LOL.
Gwyneth
Be careful with the fashion advice from the little ones-- I once ended up owning a pair of periwinkle suede shoes (my seven year old should go into sales).
That's hilarious! You're going to have to watch her closely...
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