The power of suggestion.
Okay, so I never really thought it existed. I mean, I'm a strong person, with a strong will, and a strong mind. So I can completely control what I think, what I do, and how I feel....right?
Son #3 - Mommy, I'm really itchy.
Me - Hmmm. Well, where do you itch?
Son #3 - All over.
Me - Okay, let me see. (I check him over and don't see a thing. No rash, no dry skin, nadda.) Well, maybe you just need some lotion. (so I put lotion on him and he miraculously feels better.)
PROBLEM 1......I'm now itching all over, thank you very much!!!!!
Son #2 - Hey, mom. (sniff, sniff) What smells?
Me - (who's still scratching in places I'm too embarrassed to say) Smells like what?
Son #2 - I don't know, kinda sour. (sniff, sniff) ew yuck, kinda like BO!
Me - (horrified because I'm the only freaking other person in the room) Gasp! I do not smell like BO.
Son #2 - (stares accusingly) Well, it ain't me.
Me - (I sniff my pits just to be sure) Well it sure as heck ain't me. (he's not taking an chances as he hightails it out of the living room) And don't say ain't! (I shout after him for good measure. Me BO? I think not.)
PROBLEM 2......Ugh, now I'm smelling BO bigtime, thank you very much.
Son #1 - Yo, mom, did you put onions in the meatloaf?
Me - No.
Son #1 - Are sure? (he smacks his gums) Maybe you accidentally put them in.
Me - No, I think I'd know if I cut up onions and put them in something I made.
Son #1 - Whatever, but I'm telling you, all I can taste is onions, and it's gross.
Me - You're nuts. (Smack my own gums and frown.)
PROBLEM #3......You've got to be flipping kidding me. All I can taste are onions, and he's right, it IS gross.
Hubby - Hey, hon. (eyebrows wag as strolls in holding our daughter getting ready to tuck her in) Wanna tuck me in? (code word for.....well, I think you get it)
Me - God, no. At least not before I take a shower, put on deodorant, a gallon of lotion and brush my teeth.
Hubby - (frowns) Didn't you just do all that a half hour ago?
Me - (I scratch, sniff, smack my gums and gag) Apparently, not well enough.
The power of suggestion, baby. Careful, it just might sneak up on you when you least expect it, and it won't be pretty.