WHAAAAAAAA!!!! That's me having a pity party for myself, unless anyone cares to join in. Ready......WHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
First, my head is going to explode by the end of the day, I just know it. My whole family (except DH of course) has a cold. So I'm not going to the gym today. By the way, never put things off. Case in point, the trainer who looks exactly like the hero in my second book is no longer there!!!!
Second, only two weeks and two days until the New Jersey Conference and I still have to finish my second book.
Third, I still haven't heard back from the agent who has the full of my first book. Ugh! I really wanted to go and not have to pitch. I hate pitching. I have another agent who wants to meet with me for a drink while I'm there, but I don't want to waste her time if agent one says yes. Let me repeat, I hate pitching.
Fourth, I still haven't lost weight. Normally, I wouldn't care, but my first book finaled in the New Jersey Put Your Heart in a Book contest and I have to march my big ole butt up on stage in front of all those people to get my award. Did I say big? Let me clarify.....BIG!
Fifth.....okay, I'm sure there's a fifth, but I can't think, and anyway, aren't one through four enough? There is a light at the end of the tunnel, though. My husband isn't the only funny member of our family. My kids are hysterical.
Example one, when my boys were little I made them go in the public bathroom with me. It was really crowded so I made them use the same stall. I'm holding the door and there's a long line as usual. And you hear one son say to the other, "Look, we made an x." They were crossing their streams of pee.
Example two, when my daughter was born, my three boys gaped at her as I changed her in front of them and one of them yelled, "Mommy, Mommy, she's broke!" because she was missing a Mr. Winkie.
Example three, when she was really little and I first gave her a bath on a towel in the tub, one of my boys kept tipping his head to the left, then the right, then the left as he studied her. And I asked him what was wrong. He said, "Nothin', Mommy, it just kinda looks like she has a big butt on the back and a little butt on the front." To which I replied, "Yup, it does. Okay, bathtime's over."
Example four, my daughter now calls it a coochi, so when someone said, "Coochi, coochi, coo," and tried to tickle her under the chin, she rolled her eyes as if they were a little slow and said, "That's NOT my coochi."
There are sooooooo many more examples, but I've run out of steam. I'm going to go bury my head in my pillow now, but at least I'll die smiling;)))