Okay, I just read 1 plus twins post on her blog about how sick her son is and how nerves have her up all night on the toilet with diarrhea. Every time she farts it's like someone turns on a faucet kind of explosion.
First off, I am so sorry you and your son are not feeling well. That really is truly aweful. But your description made me laugh so hard I cried. And it got me to thinking about one of my most embarrassing moments. Okay, two. (there were so many)
Let's go back to highschool, shall we.
First off, I had a hard time going to the bathroom. Still do. (More info than you needed to know, right? Well, too bad, it's my blog;)) So anyway, my mom gave me some of her correctol and told me it would kick in by morning. I think it was the first week of school, so I was nervous. (nerves affect me the opposite way from 1 plus twins if you haven't guessed by now). Anyway, I get up and nothing. Not even flipping correctol can help me. So I go to school for half the day with no problem. Then bam! (when she said it would kick in, she wasn't kidding.)
Gurgle, gurgle. Groan, groan. Uh, oh.
I start walking faster, but that just makes it worse. Wait, folks, it gets better. I round the corner and a whole pack of cute boys fall in behind me. I am fairly running by now, but it's too late. I choo, choo my flipping way down the hall as fast as I can to the nearest bathroom. Apparently not fast enough. I peek over my shoulder just before I slip inside. The cute boys are literally green, people. Green!!
Lesson learned: Always listen to your mother. She's usually right.
Let's skip ahead to college. What the heck, I'm on a roll. Why not embarrass myself even further.
Okay, so by now I've learned Metamucil works even better than correctol. Take it on a regular basis and you avoid the "I have a hard time going to the bathroom" problem alltogether. Only thing is, it can give you gas. (oh, yeah, you guessed it. Another one of "those" moments, but it's not my fault, really. 1 plus twins started me down this memory lane of eau de nastiness.) So anyway, I am taking this chemistry class (don't ask me what I was thinking. Who takes chemistry if they don't have to?) The class is filled with all sorts of cute guys and very few girls and is held in a huge lecture center.
The kind that echoes, folks. Yes, I said echoes!!
So it's time for our final exam and, of course, I get stuck between the two cutest guys in the class. I'm so nervous because, well, this is chemistry and I still don't know what I'm freaking doing in this flipping class. So I start reading the questions and drawing a complete blank. I start to sweat and my hand starts to shake. I'm going to fail. This can't get any worse, can it?
Oh, you bet your booty it can.....and it does!
Gurgle, gurgle. Groan, groan. Oh, hell, no. The flipping choo choo is back!
Horrible flashbacks of highschool hit me. There's no bathroom to escape to and I cannot, under any circumstances, sit for two hours next to these guys and watch them turn green. So I hold it in. I'm squeezing with all my might as I try not to explode. You know what happens to a balloon full of air when you pull the opening really tight???? Yup, you guessed it.
Can you say, "Echo?"
I repeat, Screeeeeeeeeeech, echoed throughout the entire lecture center, and several gasps rang out as a sea of heads whipped in my direction. Especially the two cute ones next to me. I stared straight down at my paper and finished that exam in record time. First one done, and then I was gone.
Lesson learned: Never, ever try to hold anything in. Learn to let it all out (feelings, emotions, tears, vomit, gas!) because if you don't, you'll explode. Two sets of shocked eyes I could have handled. A lecture center full, not so much.
Needless to say, I never took a science class again.
Anyone have any "most embarrassing moments" stories to share?